Love: a rant

Disclosure: These are my views, and I completely understand and respect if you disagree. I don't mean this rant as a judgement on anybody or anything in particular, when I speak about things, I mean it in a general way.  I make some mentions about education and income, as they apply to my life. I am by no means talking down to anybody that comes from different circumstances.

We live in a time of using, not loving. And being afraid rather than pursuing.
I look at the way I love, the way people of my generation love, and appalls me. I wonder when our values, as a society, experienced a shift from actually valuing human interaction, and savoring our experiences with each other as individuals, to simply discarding the people we know like old magazines on recycling day.  We always seem to be looking to upgrade, to see if we can find someone taller, skinnier, stronger and smarter than the last person we were with. While I believe that nature drives us to find a mate with whom we would produce the strongest offspring, this innate drive to find a compatible mate is quite different than the blatant egoism and rampant superficiality that so many of us carry with us today.

Step back and self-evaluate. Are you sure aren't already surrounded by individuals who are worth their weight in gold, and a significant other who puts your happiness first? For what are we striving? Why must we so readily discard such individuals of value from our lives? Many modern men are hardly brag-worthy, most having forgotten simple things like opening doors, bringing flowers, and showing passion with reckless abandon. While many a modern woman is incessantly demanding and afraid to relinquish control, for fear of retreating back into gender roles so suffocatingly reminiscent of the 1950s.

We are a generation disillusioned by circumstances we have manifested for ourselves.  So many deeply bright and successful individuals, near and dear to me, have mentioned that they believe everybody cheats (frequently) in relationships, and that we now live in a time where nobody stays together. Don't you feel that that is for us to choose? Why must we simply accept circumstances based on societal norms that have little basis in what we actually want for ourselves?  The fact of the matter is that even if "everybody" cheats and "nobody" stays together, I think we need to take a hard, honest look at our lives. Using terms like "everybody" and "nobody" implies a general majority of the population, generally assumed to be greater than 50%.  Statistically, only 30.4% of the US population has bachelor's degrees, 7.95% have master's degrees and a mere 3% have doctorate or professional degrees. Most of you reading this entry have been educated at the bachelor's level or above, CLEARLY we are not the statistical majority. Why are we living our lives by the assumed (likely incorrect) values of the majority, when we cannot pretend to be classified as such?  Even if we fall into the statistical majority, can we not choose to have better outcomes for our lives?

I understand that life is everything but straight forward, and that there are an infinite number of factors beyond our control. I am not issuing a call to perfection, I am merely encouraging us to strive for better. To simply try and believe that even if everybody cheats, and no relationships last, that does not have to be the inevitable outcome of our lives. We are not victims of society's existence.

We have to cherish who we have before us, even if their exterior is marked with irregularities.Work to be better. We must love harder and more freely.

Rishtas and Relationships: Dr. Nik

A little while ago, I received an e-mail from a young gentleman, whose email address identified him as "Dr. Nik", he seemed to be in search of a lady love, but he clearly had the wrong Nishi. I exchanged a few hilarious, and odd, e-mails with this gentleman, here are a few snippets:

From Dr. Nik:

Hey Nishi,
How are you doing? Hope your day is going well. Your parents had contacted me and provided your email address to contact you. I hope you do not mind as I know we all have very busy schedules. I am new on this online website and was not sure if a website was for me, but am willing to give it a try. [...] I really have a great family that is super supportive. Med school keeps me busy. I really like cooking and experimenting with traditional recipes as those get boring after a while. [...] I like going out dancing or just staying home and building a fire in a huge fireplace when it is snowing outside (not the gas fireplace, but the one where you use logs)...and hiding under blankets in front of the fireplace...Randomly, I like the sound and smell of rain, especially when you are sleeping.[...] Oh and yea if nothing else kiddo, I can at least leave you with a really corney, pathetic joke. It makes the kids in children's hospital laugh at least...hehe:  Why Don't Aliens eat Clowns?
because they taste Funny....duh! hehe told you it was corney..have plenty corney jokes I guess...kids find them funny at least..

He also included a bunch of pictures of himself, but to be nice, I won't post those.

This was my response:

Hi Nikhil,

It was nice to read your e-mail, however, I think you have the wrong Nishi...

Best wishes on your search to find your lady love!

Nishi

 
Good 'ol Dr. Nik responded with an appropriate, curt reply:

sorry Nishi. I guess her parents must have given a typo. My fault/apologies. doesn't p***t mean parrot in gujrati by the way?

All the while, I had been talking to one of my girlfriends, who frequents online dating sites. She told me that she had e-mailed with this gentleman before, and he had sent her the same EXACT e-mail, except with her name switched out.  We found this discovery to be quite amusing, so I e-mailed him again:

Not a problem.

Yes, Popat means parrot in Gujarati, I do believe.

By the way, you might want to mix up the e-mails you send out...one of my friends who you've spoken to before said you sent her the same exact e-mail with the names switched out. Just saying, the girls you talk to might start noticing the redundancies... 

His response was a bit, shall I say...confusing? 

haha thanks. Yea I wish I was more original, but I guess I am a boring guy. Maybe that is why your friend rejected me.

Thanks for the girly insight. It is okay...in my old age, I hope someone will find boring old me interesting. As for your friend, I am sorry if I overwhelmed her. Guess I was unoriginal. Either which way, I appreciate the advice. It is good to hear a girl's perspective. So appreciate the advice and hopefully even if I have a boring personality, I can not overwhelm the gender of estrogen. 

I wasn't sure whether to feel sorry for him, or be completely confused why a complete stranger would be entirely self-deprecating while talking to someone he doesn't know. Does this fellow not like himself? Was he joking? Looking for compliments? Or just a plain odd duck?  In any case, I had NO idea what to say to all of that, so I just didn't respond. Poor fellow. My friend told me a bit about her virtual interactions with this man, and she told me he very clearly seemed to be odd and highly self-absorbed. I wouldn't have picked up the latter from my e-mail exchange with him, but with gems like these in our dating pool, it's no wonder Indian women have such a hard time finding a good mate within the community. 

Perhaps it's time to start looking outside of the community, ladies?

Lame

I am sitting here a bit dumbfounded.

One of my close male friends just called to "break-up" with me. Except the only problem with this is that him and I have NEVER had a romantic interest in each other, and we also have never had any significant personality conflicts. His reason for not wanting to be my friend anymore? His girlfriend is not comfortable with our friendship. Wow.

I can understand why a woman would be uncomfortable with her man having close female friends(although I personally do not agree with this mentality), but seriously I am about as threatening to my friends' relationships as a stuffed Spongebob Squarepants doll. What especially stinks about this is that this individual has been someone I've been with for about the last decade--we've laughed together, cried together and seen each other's lives change drastically.

I've always enjoyed the friendships I have had with my male classmates or colleagues, but I can't help but wonder that if these types of connections are impractical as we grow older and spouses and significant others play a greater role in our lives? Does anybody have thoughts on this?

What can I say? I wish him luck.

Crazy eHarmony Cat Lady Video

So this video has just started to go viral on YouTube, Facebook and other social media websites. It is a video created by a young woman attempting to post an introduction video, to enhance her dating profile, on the dating website eHarmony. What makes me wonder is why she would actually post such an embarrassing video where members of the public could see it? Hmm...something tells me that this young woman won't be getting too many dating inquiries.

"Hi my name is Debbie...and I love cats...and I love to run...and I think about how cute they are, and their ears, their whiskers and their nose...I just love them, and want them. And I want them in a basket, and I want them in little bow ties, I want them to be on a rainbow!!"

I know many of you love cats, but can you say that you love cats THIS much?  

Ummmm....yeah. If you're ever feeling like you might be a little odd or insane, go back and watch this video, and I assure you that sentiments of normalcy shall promptly wash over you.

So...the world is ending today?

So, as we've all heard, Harold Camping, the 89 year old Christian Radio broadcaster and President of Family Radio, a California-based religious media network, has predicted the end of the world to be today. Camping performed a series of ridiculous calculations, supposedly using data from the Bible to determine that today, May 21st, 2011 would be the beginning of Rapture. It is said this is the beginning of the end of the world, with the actual end being 5 months from today. It is said that during Rapture, all believers, or followers of Jesus Christ will ascend to heaven, while the rest of us non-believers/sinners/heathens are left to experience constant earthquakes, fire, famine and locusts(locusts, really?!).

On paper, one would assume that Camping is an intelligent man, he obtained  BS in Civil Engineering from the University of California, Berkeley. Personal experience has generally had me believe that most Berkeley engineers are quite smart individuals. Hm, I guess not in this case. While normally, I would say that these types of notions are guided by attempts to racket money, it doesn't seem as if Camping has encouraged his followers to necessarily donate all of their money and possessions to his organization. But, he has simply encouraged all those who believe in the May 21st rapture to donate all of their money and be rid of all of their worldly possessions-- if the world is ending, what use are your things?

What especially troubles me about Camping's prediction is not just that he is clearly WRONG(at the time that I write this, New Zealand has already passed the time the rapture was supposed to occur without incident), but that he would encourage all of his followers to be rid of their worldly belongings, when it is reported that he himself has maintained his homestead, and has not given away all of his money. What makes it worse is that not only have many of his followers obliged his request, but they have also left their jobs and spent much of the last few months attempting to spread the word of today's Judgement Day. I would imagine that many(though unfortunately not all) of his followers are ill-educated, and will be put in a very difficult position when they wake on Sunday morning and realize that: 1.) The world has not in fact ended, 2.) Harold Camping is incredibly ignorant and irresponsible, 3.) Shit, I have no place to live, 4.) Shit, I have no way of sustaining my life--welfare here I come! Encouraging his followers to act as he was not willing to act, by getting rid of all worldly possessions, is not only wrong and disturbing, but it is IRRESPONSIBLE. Hello, how can he not even have a modicum of social responsibility?

That being said, I feel especially sorry for the children of parents who are devout believers in Camping's prediction. I especially felt bad for the children of a woman who was interviewed that blatantly stated: "I worry about my children. I know they will not be going to Heaven with me and my husband. But I just have to accept it--my children are sinners." Sheesh, and I thought my parents were hard on me? Not only is it unfortunate that these children have crazy parents, but you can't help but be a bit concerned about the psychological well-being of these young ones.

On a more amusing note, there are (real) companies lead by Athiests that advertise their services of saving the pets of believers after the ascend to heaven on Judgement Day. Hilarious, no? When I initially saw this website, I thought it was a joke:
Eternal Earth-bound Pets, USA

Nope, it's completely real. And to be honest, I'm slightly jealous that I did not come up with the idea myself. This company is clearly experiencing insane volume with a flat fee, for a service they will never have to complete. They aren't one bit dishonest in their business pitch, they can't help it if their clients are among the ignoramus that believe the May 21st end-of-days prophecy. Hmm, perhaps I will be the one to come up with the next ingenious money-making idea the next time religion makes everybody lose their minds?