So....Tir...ed......zZZZzz

I am so tired that I can no longer feel my face!

Oh sleep, why do you evade me?

Night

I am so very much a child of the night. I find it so peaceful and calming, it's honestly always (since high school, really) been my favorite time to do work and just about anything else. If it were up to me, I would stay up until 5am every night, sleep till noon, rinse and repeat. I will be just about the worst 9-5 adult ever.

I also get the urge to do random things at this hour...For example, I wish I could bake cookies right now. But I know even if I were to bake them, they wouldn't get consumed. Sad!

My memory

If you know me well, you know that I have a crazy long and detailed memory. Even my short-term memory has served me pretty well, I got through all of K-12 and college relying solely on my short-term memory. It wasn't really until a year and a half ago when I began my quest in the sciences that I actually started studying to learn and understand--it's interesting what can happen when you find a subject you like, right?

Anyways, back on topic. Having my memory was pretty fun as a child, I would be the only member of my family who remembered where we parked at shopping malls, and other inane details such as the license plate numbers of our cars (I still remember the license plate number for a car we haven't owned for 14 years) and the makes, models and details of random cars.  As I entered my teenage years, my memory helped me get closer to people faster as I would remember almost all of our conversations and their emotions related to them, so we could always pick up where we had left off at our last meeting.

However, as I approached my 20s, I found it difficult to forget some questionable memories of my childhood as they still remained fresh: the clothes worn, the words said and the expressions on our faces remained deeply etched within my mind. I actually found it to be quite irritating. How could I move forward, in a healthy way, towards adulthood when my heart was still smarting from these decade old incidents that felt so fresh in my mind?

And then my big accident happened, in the fall of 2006, that resulted in a nasty head injury. And I had a temporarily fuzzy memory that lasted a few years. While the memories eventually returned, I learned how to develop a different perspective about my childhood memories, and was able to embrace them.

Despite the fact that I have learned to evolve my perspective, I remain annoyed by my memory. I still remember the most ridiculous of details and happenings of my life. Some of my friends are quite amused by this ability and call me to discuss their wardrobe choices for events, as I have a visual memory of most of the clothing they own. However, some are taken aback by what I remember and give me a suspicious look when I recall a detail about their lives--to the extent that sometimes I have to act like I have forgotten, so as to avoid these funny looks I get from people.

Like many, I especially struggle to forget men from my relationship past, where things ended badly. But, mostly, I can't help but wonder: Do others simply choose to forget, because it is easier to move forward when the past isn't holding you down? Do they act like they've forgotten so those memories don't resurface again? Or do they actually not remember?

...I can't be the only one that remembers, right?

Le sigh.

Proof!

I've decided to post proof of my love of cooking/baking. See below:

 My homemade Thanksgiving fruit tart! Complete with a whole wheat tart shell and a 75% egg white filling. Of course the folks eating it didn't know it wasn't deathly unhealthy...people seem to complain when they know a dessert could not be in its full-fledged calorie-laden form.

Goobers enjoying Thanksgiving dinner(made by me, ingredients prepared by mom--bless her heart for putting up with my craziness in the kitchen). The gentleman with the super shiny bald head would be my father, and the (not-so) young man sitting next to him with a ridiculous expression on his face may or may not be my big brother. Okay fine, he's mine.

I can't wait for this year!
Okay, enough shenanigans. I'm off to bed.

Night Owl...again!

It's 2:45am, I have class early(for me) in the morning, yet I fail to be able to fall asleep. There is something about the peace and stillness of the night that draws me so. For me, it is the birthplace of many a fruitful thought and countless hours of fervent productivity. How fitting is it that one of the meanings of my first name is "night"?

This is a bit odd, but I am wishing I could bake a cake and have somebody to feed it to, at the moment.  I love feeding people. So much so, that cooking grand feasts for my family around the holidays is one of my very favorite things to do. Mmm, is anybody hungry?

buenas noches.

Lame

I am sitting here a bit dumbfounded.

One of my close male friends just called to "break-up" with me. Except the only problem with this is that him and I have NEVER had a romantic interest in each other, and we also have never had any significant personality conflicts. His reason for not wanting to be my friend anymore? His girlfriend is not comfortable with our friendship. Wow.

I can understand why a woman would be uncomfortable with her man having close female friends(although I personally do not agree with this mentality), but seriously I am about as threatening to my friends' relationships as a stuffed Spongebob Squarepants doll. What especially stinks about this is that this individual has been someone I've been with for about the last decade--we've laughed together, cried together and seen each other's lives change drastically.

I've always enjoyed the friendships I have had with my male classmates or colleagues, but I can't help but wonder that if these types of connections are impractical as we grow older and spouses and significant others play a greater role in our lives? Does anybody have thoughts on this?

What can I say? I wish him luck.

Some day, we will dream again...

Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. 

- C. S. Lewis

Animal Humane Society Talking Cats

While taking a break from late night work, I was watching some trashy reality TV online and this commercial to promote the adoption of cats from the Animal Humane Society came on:

I am normally not a cat person, at all. But, this particular commercial just made my heart melt.

Check it out...and maybe consider adopting a kitty?

Night Owl Status

So it's nearly 3am, and I am up late, yet again, pondering the meaning of the world. And by pondering the meaning of the world, I mean writing another ridiculous paper for my master's program. It's about the use of online assessment tools to enhance the practice of adult education in the workplace. Yep, it's totally as exciting as it sounds.

While up this late, deep thoughts come into my mind such as: Damn, I'm really craving a bagel right now. Should I start trading in the stock market again? (too deep for this hour). Should I paint my fingernails hot pink? I wonder why I thought Donald Trump was so awesome until he began his run for President? Why is Donald Trump's hair so ugly, you would think a man that rich could afford a decent hair cut? Etc.

Hey, I never promised all of my blog entries would be insightful.

So, what are some of the musings you have late at night?